New name game

In honor of Trans Day of Visibility, I thought I'd share a silly back and forth I'm having with my mother.

I'm publicly switching my name probably late this year, but I've had "Tessa" in my head since I started therapy. To me it sounds energetic, adventurous, yet unassuming. No one else seems to vibe with it, though. (Too bad for them.)

I've heard suggestions for feminine variants of my old name, to which I've said absolutely not. I want some distance from my era of self-hatred, and I don't want to be reminded by having almost that name again.

Then my mom had a suggestion. I'll repeat the conversation as best I can remember:

• What if you change your first name to Iffy?


• ...In real life? You want me to use my screen name in real life???


• Why not? It's peppy, it's cute!


• I mean... yes, that's why I like it, but that's not a real person's name. I'd feel silly. What if we found a real name that could be shortened into Iffy as a nickname? Like Tiffany oh god what did I just aghghgh


• Yeah you are absolutely not a Tiffany.


• No no no no no.

So far, she's brought me Fiona and Finley. I fear where this rabbit hole will go, but I love her effort. 😅