These are not the best ideas

This year has been... A Thing, for a lot of people, and I am not excluded from that company.

At least twice this year, I've posted about getting back to being creative and productive. And both times, I've fallen right back into my current rut. So, I'm not going to declare myself so back!!!1!! this time, but maybe take a quieter, gentler look forward to what I'd like to try next year.

On fanfiction:

I'd like to finish up some requests from forever ago, and read and comment on my mountain of a backlog. But in 2026, I think I might shift away from fanfic in general. It's not that I don't love it; I do! But my fandoms are small and quiet and there's just not a lot of chatter (specifically, meta and squee) to make them feel like fandoms anymore. As such, writing fanfic just feels pointless. It's not as much an issue of feedback as it is one of atmosphere: posting fanfic feels like doing a bit in a variety show; even if the audience doesn't applaud, they're there, and you've been a part of something that exists outside your head. But there is very little motivation to play to an empty house.

On other writing:

I'd like to try my hand at some longer original stories, preferably around novella length. And I'd like to try to get one out there into the world, just to see what that feels like.

On other stuff:

I'd like to actually finish a dang book! It doesn't matter how much fun I'm having with a book, if I can't finish it in one sitting, I never will. I'm not sure how to explain it. I've found some enjoyable reads, but nothing has actually hooked me. I haven't found a story that makes me want to pick it up again, and I find that very, very sad. :(

I'd like to try drawing some more, and maybe figure out a style that works for me. I'm enjoying trying out different styles, but it would be nice to land on one that I feel comfortable with, and most importantly, one that I can replicate. It's a learning process, and I'm trying very hard not to judge myself too harshly as I go along.

I'd like to find a new media fixation. Something that I can analyze and daydream about, if only to give me something other than worries with which to fill my idle time. Fandom attachment is strange for me. I can enjoy something wholeheartedly, yet not be moved to participate in fandom. I still don't know what it is exactly about the fandoms I do have that made them "click" for me, but I'd like to feel that again, please and thank you.

I'm trying to go easy on myself for next year. I miss the things I used to love, but coming back to them seems to be a waiting game.