Vocal update 4: low spirits

Well, somehow I managed to resume sessions as normal this week, and worked on my voice every day. Yay.

Not that it matters. It feels like I haven't made any progress at all. Today, I had to stop early because I was getting too upset. This is the second time that's happened. I've felt like shit ever since.

What if I never figure it out? I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and I can't find any resource capable of helping.

I think what makes the whole thing so stressful isn't just the pressure, it's having to hear my unmodified voice over and over and over and over. It's like hearing your deadname over and over and over and over. The dysphoria adds up and makes the whole process increasingly unpleasant.

There's plenty of extra stress and worry in my life at the moment, which is probably why this is hitting me so hard. I'm trying to be patient and take it in stride. Failing, but trying.