Loose ends tied up

Oh my gosh, it's been so long!

I stopped coming here because I had slowly turned it into the place I go to ruminate on however miserable I felt at the moment. Obviously that wasn't making anything better. Journaling can be a double-edged sword, I guess. But I'm going to try and stay more positive (or at least benign) on Dreamwidth from now on. If something big happens and I need to vent about it, fine, but no spiraling. ☝

Things have happened!

My name and gender are legally updated! It was so much paperwork, travel and calling that I've kept the completed to-do list in my notes as a trophy. Heck, this is part of why I moved up here. Feels so good to have it behind me! wait that came out wrong

I'm on ADHD meds! I found a far better nurse, and she started me on Adderall one month ago. We're in the testing phase so it's been a low dose, but I did feel a noticeable improvement for the first two days. I start on a higher dosage tomorrow (9/4 edit: nope still waiting for it to get filled lol), and I have very high hopes for what it can do for my life. If my Tumblr drafts are any indication, I need the help. XD

I'm on Medicaid! Who will not pay for my ADHD meds because apparently I am not in the expected age group. Whatever that means. I'm not even remotely surprised. There's no such thing as good health insurance, and in my financial bracket? Forgeddaboudit. Thankfully they cover my HRT, so that's still huge help.

I saw my old friends from my hometown recently! I was so glad to see them, and we got to hang out for quite a while. It healed a hole in my heart to know that we still have that connection, even if we barely see each other anymore.

I met a moot for pizza!? At last, I have lived my lifelong dream and met an online friend for soda and pepperoni. It was an hour drive both ways, but it was worth it. We'd have done something more interesting than pizza but we're both dirt poor. Next time!

aaaaand...

My grandfather is now in a nursing home. End of an era. He finally became too much, and we moved him two weeks ago. Miraculously, we found a veteran's home that is actually very nice. We've been checking on him several times a week, and he's actually happier than he's been in a long time! With the dementia, he hasn't even noticed that he isn't "home" anymore. It's a weird blessing in disguise, but we'll take it.

I've dug up a few family Christmas videos to see him as the man he actually was. For all the screaming, bigotry, and destruction we had to deal with for so long, none of that was him. I mean to burn that mean-spirited parody out of my memories until only the real Grandpa remains. He was always sweet, smiling and laughing, and that's what I'll remember once he's gone.

We've all been in a state of... recovery? Since then? Kind of a stupor? I think this week I'm starting to put myself back together. Between that and the upped dosage of ADHD meds tomorrow, I'm hopeful about the next chapter.