Grace under internal pressure.
May. 14th, 2023 03:25 amThe withdrawal from my antidepressants was thankfully light. I was extremely irritable for about a week, then returned to normal. I had the good sense to recognize it and disengage from any conversation or activity whenever I found myself overheating.
Then this week, of course, I stay up several nights in a row, while a period also kicks in. So here I am, enduring another storm in my head. Dumb Iffy.
"Wait period what?" Yeah, turns out it's a documented thing: apparently even the XY-chromosome body develops a cycle with the right hormones. I was in sync with my sister for the last year that we lived together. Obviously, I have a dramatically watered-down version of the experience. All I have to deal with is a heavy mood swing, painfully sensitive parts of my upper body, and occasional migraines, so I got off easy.
As for the staying up for several nights?
It's the culmination of my pattern for the past several weeks, feverishly trying to sketch all the rest of Kontext chapter 3 before I continue posting pages. My hope is to bump up the schedule to two pages a week, bringing poor chapter 3 to the close it's so overdue for. Spending time to make time, etc.
Mini-spoilers ahead, but I've reached a part where Ultimecia is psychologically crushed, and sketching those panels has become a cathartic way to handle how I'm feeling right now. But given that it's keeping me up later, it's become a vicious cycle.
But, I'm also pretty excited as I go! I'm finding that my sketches are becoming so clean that I may not have to ink pages at all for much longer. They look better than my usual lineart: just as visually clear, but more organic. I'm also experimenting with new methods of coloring, and I've also found faster, more organic-looking results for that as well. I plan to update my process accordingly between chapters (doing it mid-scene would be jarring), and I'm thrilled about it! The comic will be faster, more painless to work on, and even look better.
I love it when my art goes all LEVEL UP like this. 🥰
Then this week, of course, I stay up several nights in a row, while a period also kicks in. So here I am, enduring another storm in my head. Dumb Iffy.
"Wait period what?" Yeah, turns out it's a documented thing: apparently even the XY-chromosome body develops a cycle with the right hormones. I was in sync with my sister for the last year that we lived together. Obviously, I have a dramatically watered-down version of the experience. All I have to deal with is a heavy mood swing, painfully sensitive parts of my upper body, and occasional migraines, so I got off easy.
As for the staying up for several nights?
It's the culmination of my pattern for the past several weeks, feverishly trying to sketch all the rest of Kontext chapter 3 before I continue posting pages. My hope is to bump up the schedule to two pages a week, bringing poor chapter 3 to the close it's so overdue for. Spending time to make time, etc.
Mini-spoilers ahead, but I've reached a part where Ultimecia is psychologically crushed, and sketching those panels has become a cathartic way to handle how I'm feeling right now. But given that it's keeping me up later, it's become a vicious cycle.
But, I'm also pretty excited as I go! I'm finding that my sketches are becoming so clean that I may not have to ink pages at all for much longer. They look better than my usual lineart: just as visually clear, but more organic. I'm also experimenting with new methods of coloring, and I've also found faster, more organic-looking results for that as well. I plan to update my process accordingly between chapters (doing it mid-scene would be jarring), and I'm thrilled about it! The comic will be faster, more painless to work on, and even look better.
I love it when my art goes all LEVEL UP like this. 🥰
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