So tired. 〒▽〒
Jun. 7th, 2023 02:58 amI'm typing this at 3am, so if I devolve into incoherency, well... let's face it that's just a lateral move for me. :P
After completing the six-week task of sketching a whopping thirty pages of Kontext, I'm trying to get some rest before resuming updates. My hand, wrist and back have been overtaxed and need to recover. Even so, being unproductive on purpose can be unsettling. I need to keep reminding myself that humans are not defined by our productivity, and breaks are extremely important. We're not walking talking factories, we're warm-blooded creatures. It's okay to just exist.
On that note, I'm making a focused effort to stop reading the news. When I realized what the next chapter of my life would be, I thought it would be important to keep up with current events and civil rights. But as the past year has progressed, that news has gotten darker and darker.
I don't know what's happening. I've spent most of my life thinking that humanity was more empathetic and understanding than ever before, and while there was still a long way yet to go, we would get there. Now I see the horrible things people say and do, and... I feel like we're regressing. It horrifies me not just for my own future, but for everyone's. Things aren't supposed to be like this.
Worse, my parents — while supportive of me — take frustrating stances that I can't understand. My mother is centrist to a fault, always insisting that both sides have valid points. Including the transphobes. I can't get her to see that there's no such thing as centrism when the topic is the destruction of one demographic at the hands of another. Ether you oppose the oppressors, or let them have their way. My father is sinking into passive-aggressive paranoia, seeing every opinion as puppetry of The Man. Except his own, of course.
But they do support me in every way they can. And they're genuinely so happy for me! Good people still outnumber the bad. I shouldn't lose sight of that. I've just been letting the stress from the news get to me.
I just realized I lost the previous note. My point is, I read a post recently pointing out that we're human beings, not to meant to process all the suffering and cruelty in the world. It doesn't help anyone, and only hurts me. So I'm promising myself to take an extended break on that front.
Right now, I'm just trying to focus on catching up with everyone, as well as catching up on my reading list. I've let myself get a little disconnected again, and I don't enjoy that. I hope you guys are doing well. :)
Oh and happy Pride Month! 🏳🌈
After completing the six-week task of sketching a whopping thirty pages of Kontext, I'm trying to get some rest before resuming updates. My hand, wrist and back have been overtaxed and need to recover. Even so, being unproductive on purpose can be unsettling. I need to keep reminding myself that humans are not defined by our productivity, and breaks are extremely important. We're not walking talking factories, we're warm-blooded creatures. It's okay to just exist.
On that note, I'm making a focused effort to stop reading the news. When I realized what the next chapter of my life would be, I thought it would be important to keep up with current events and civil rights. But as the past year has progressed, that news has gotten darker and darker.
I don't know what's happening. I've spent most of my life thinking that humanity was more empathetic and understanding than ever before, and while there was still a long way yet to go, we would get there. Now I see the horrible things people say and do, and... I feel like we're regressing. It horrifies me not just for my own future, but for everyone's. Things aren't supposed to be like this.
Worse, my parents — while supportive of me — take frustrating stances that I can't understand. My mother is centrist to a fault, always insisting that both sides have valid points. Including the transphobes. I can't get her to see that there's no such thing as centrism when the topic is the destruction of one demographic at the hands of another. Ether you oppose the oppressors, or let them have their way. My father is sinking into passive-aggressive paranoia, seeing every opinion as puppetry of The Man. Except his own, of course.
But they do support me in every way they can. And they're genuinely so happy for me! Good people still outnumber the bad. I shouldn't lose sight of that. I've just been letting the stress from the news get to me.
I just realized I lost the previous note. My point is, I read a post recently pointing out that we're human beings, not to meant to process all the suffering and cruelty in the world. It doesn't help anyone, and only hurts me. So I'm promising myself to take an extended break on that front.
Right now, I'm just trying to focus on catching up with everyone, as well as catching up on my reading list. I've let myself get a little disconnected again, and I don't enjoy that. I hope you guys are doing well. :)
Oh and happy Pride Month! 🏳🌈
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